


Ballum Week 2020 - Day 1 (Missing Scene)

by thetubelightclicks



Series: Ballum Week 2020 [1]
Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Ballum Week 2020 (EastEnders), Deaf, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fear of Death, Fluff, M/M, ballum - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:27:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25086154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thetubelightclicks/pseuds/thetubelightclicks
Summary: Day 1 theme being "Missing Scene" it inspired me to to focus on what could've happened from the moment Callum came back to the commotion in the kitchen when Ben realized how he can't hear anymore (Between episode on 28 Feb 2020 - 6th March 2020).Written for Ballum Week 2020 albeit a bit late!
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Series: Ballum Week 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1846141
Comments: 2
Kudos: 37





	Ballum Week 2020 - Day 1 (Missing Scene)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [oceandawn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/oceandawn/gifts).



> Ben clearly does a bad job of handling the whole situation and it all comes head on in the moment of silence after Callum goes up to wait for Ben. My 'missing scene' tries to fit in between what we don't see leading up to the end of the day. I hope you enjoy! <3

Callum turned to the stairs and felt taking them two at a time was a challenge he wasn’t ready for. The first step up seemed manageable, but he reached out and secured himself against the wall just in case.

God, have they been through hell this week.

 _‘slow and steady mate’_ he told himself as he was five or six above, feeling just a relieving stretch on his muscles as he was making progress up to the bedroom. And that’s when he heard the first few times the cupboard bang. The modest Mitchell home was never great at muffling cupboards being banged angrily, but since it was just them at home…maybe Ben’s not that aware since his hearing is impaired.

He stopped for a moment as he pondered that. Just a rush of concern and next steps he would have to help Ben find the motivation for, and stubborn denial he would have to cut through patiently; but that was for another day. Right now he was hoping for a comfortable moment in a bed that was slightly short for his longer frame with Ben in his arms.

And just as he reached the landing was when he heard what felt like the clang of metal and it just kept ringing for a fraction of a second and before he knew it he was bounding down the stairs with no thought of the numbers of stairs, the pain of jostling bruises and cuts or what they were pulling at.

All he could see was Ben just comically banging pans, the cupboard ajar and the tap on. He couldn’t see his face but he could definitely hear the wails – and let me tell you those were wails if he ever heard them.

Callum’s heart was now caught in his throat and all he could do was just grab at Ben’s hands to just calm him down and he kept in mind Ben’s not even heard him come back down in the commotion, neither would he anticipate someone to grab him from behind. Callum tried to gently touch him and it seemed to have no effect, he pressed with his left hand a little harder as he reached for the pot in his right hand at the same time and Ben wasn’t even looking back at him.

He closed the tap and put the pans haphazardly back and just held Ben and whatever he tried to do to grab his attention and back on to him and… Callum has no experience in this, no guidebook or internet research to reach out to. He has a second to just think of anything he can do… but all he can is just… forcibly try to hold him. Not sure if it’ll work, Callum just forcibly turns him around and he’s sobbing at the same volume into his chest and Callum is surely not released the breath he’s held onto this entire time he came back down.

He’s been saying Ben’s name to bring him back to reality and realizing Ben probably hasn’t heard a damn thing. He grabs him tighter and kisses the bit of exposed forehead as the pan now falls to the ground from the precarious place it rested after leaving their hands. Callum’s leaning against the counter as Ben leans into him and they both just slip to the floor with Ben still crying.

Ben sounds warbled as he mumbles something.

Callum can barely hear him over his own concern.

Ben’s still crying loud as hell. Callum hopes neighbors don’t come running in which would make Ben even more conscious of what’s going on and that’s when he realizes his visions been slightly blurry for a bit.

Callum wipes his eye with his elbow and tries to pacify Ben like he’s a toddler in his arms.

The whole ordeal, of everything that has happened. It’s enough to take out the toughest of men. But couple that with everything Ben’s been through all his life. Is this his breaking point.

They’re on the floor and Bens not even come up for air, his hold on the grey hoodie so tight, the ring on his hand surrounded by Redness. There was no chance of talking it out or consoling him even if Ben could hear him now. Callum tries to release his grip from his hoodie just to hold his hand.

Nope. He only tightened his hand.

Callum did the only thing he could. Pulled him close and kissed him and hoped he’d stop crying.

It was about 20 minutes later. The sobs got quieter gradually.

Callum wondered if not hearing felt anything like the calming feeling he felt when underwater in a pool.

 _‘This doesn’t look calming at all does it you halfwit!’_ he almost heard in Shirley’s intolerable voice. So he corrected himself mentally. Bens probably cut off from the comfortable noises of his home, his friends, his daughter. He wondered if Ben had seen his daughter at all this week. He also wondered how Lexi would adjust to all this.

He didn’t mean to sigh as deeply as he did with a now quiet(er) Ben, but it seems to have stirred him to look up at Callum. The devilishly handsome man he’d been falling for slowly was still there, under those reddened eyes, tear tracks still drying, snot pouring. He seems to have been made aware of the same thought it seems as he quickly tried to wipe under his nose with his sleeve and Ben tried to straighten up and mumble some macho bullshit to quickly cover up for his blubbering mess.

Callum tried to still him as he turned over and seemed almost like he was getting up from having his head on Cullum’s lap. He pushed him back down with minimal effort and spoke slowly yet – less like he seemed like he wanted Ben to follow.

He mouthed ‘stay’.

Ben didn’t have much fight in him. He obeyed and fell back down, Callum adjusted himself as well.

“Sorry about… the mess” he gestured around. Callum smiled back and just looked at him. He tried to adjust his face by looking up slightly and hoped it didn’t look like he had a double chin looking down.

“No mess at all. It’s been a day hasn’t it” he said almost in retrospect. Repeating the last bit looking down at a more alert Ben, probably trying not to miss the conversation.

Should he pull out the phone to tell him.

Callum sighed again.

Ben wasn’t the most communicative asshole. Now they’d sort of lost one of the biggest communicating devices ‘whatever they were’ had; Listening to Callum. They were lads but wow… Callum never realized he had proper emotional growth next to Ben’s inability to articulate even the slightest gesture of affection. It was almost hilarious. He could laugh but it seemed inappropriate.

There was so much that needed to be said.

So. Much.

But….

He took his free hand and started to draw on Bens chest. Kind of helped he wasn’t all muscle in some parts, even though he could feel them beneath his fingers. Callum drew a heart whilst looking at Ben’s searching eyes.

He almost felt there was a smart remark brewing in Bens head as that God awful smirk was coming back.

But it never came.

Ben reached for his drawing hand and held it close on his chest and closed his eyes.

Callum used the same hand to tap on his chest a few minutes later.

He dragged Callum up the stairs the tiredness of the many days of them being separated clearly weighing on his shoulders. He wondered if the beers were still needed, but decided against another solo trip down as Ben was starting to pull him towards the Bedroom with a look that was just. Innocent.

Callum wondered about a tiny Ben Mitchell giving the same look to someone (God he can’t imagine it being Phil!) as he was heading to bed. Wanting a good nap or a rest but knowing it can come from someone tucking him in. Callum reached up to his chin with his free hand and pulled him close.

Ben wasn’t a hard man to love. Not this Ben. Not the real Ben. The Ben he’s seen almost every single time they were just on their own. Callum hovered with his head bent almost breathing the same breath that Ben was breathing. The soft pink creases and folds that he could stretch between his lips and a small gentle dance between them as their hands wandered aimlessly. The cold dark corridor was awfully comfortable.

It was one kiss. And almost immediately as they separated it had to be another. Their height difference made for the best kisses, he loved feeling Bens weight against him as he tip toed sometimes as he reached over his arms to encircle Cullum’s neck. This was one of those moments and Ben’s weight feeling awfully too much from the weakness of the days past but… the way Ben leant in.

‘I…’ he felt Ben’s chest heave in a way he’s never known it could “…Cal’ I never…” and suddenly he looked ready to flood the world with new tears and all Callum can do is pull him in tighter than he should and say

“I know Ben”.

He knew the words didn’t matter as they stood there just inches away from Ben’s bedroom. The words were probably not even heard or understood.

He kissed Bens temple again and tried to steer them back into the room before they had to get comfortable in the corridor again. Ben wiped his tears as they walked into the room and closed the door.

Callum took his hoodie off almost immediately.

Ben just stood there waiting.

Callum just pulled him into a hug and fell backwards into the bed.

After what felt like a few hours later Callum had awoken to Ben still in his arms. He could barely see his face at this angle, just mostly forehead and messy hair. There was something so unruly about it and his fast diminishing hairline and now very prominent widows peak. He wondered if Ben should crop it all the way down. But Bens pride would never allow it. He lightly meddled with it and Ben instinctively relaxed into it, his hands falling of Callum and onto the sides.

Taking stock of his surroundings he realized he’d managed to kick off his shoes whilst in bed. Ben was still fully clothed and in his shoes. To move or do anything would be to disturb Ben. So he decided only on a small movement to adjust his hips so he might not get up with a back pain. These are the things they never tell you about being in your late 20’s, and how easily they could be avoided. He reaches for his phone and confirms its been a few hours.

He quickly responds to a message from his brother asking about him and what time he’d be back. Then Whit and Tine. Checks his socials and notifications clearing what was not necessary. He looks back to Ben who could easily have passed for dead right now. He’d always been a marvelous sleeper, especially when he was partially on Callum. A notification for a Game being on in less than an hour comes on. He’d catch the highlights he thought to himself. Absentmindedly letting his left hand settle back on Callum.

Ben stirred and adjusted himself on Callum. Digging his face deeper into Callum’s chest. His hand slowly creeping up Callum’s t-shirt. Awfully close to… a scar. He stroked it slightly and settled in.

He sighed deeply.

Just a few days ago he was starved, dehydrated, and possibly dying in a ditch of dirt. His heart still able to muster a bit of the dread he felt when he was barely conscious. He’d wondered about death. He riles up just at the thought of Keanu’s idiotic attempt at revenge – which resulted in so much heartache, death, and pain. But then also… if he really wanted to blame anyone… he’d have to end up with Ben.

The same Ben that lies on his chest, peacefully asleep. The growing pain & anger in his heart dissipating almost as comically as a balloon pop. The motivations were clear, the actions evident. His military sense of justice and common sense all point to the man at him – even though most of the machinations and true guilt end up with Phil Mitchell.

And Phil Mitchell! The devil himself would compete against his villainy. His feelings aside on this absolute black mark of humanity, Ben is still viable for most of the blame legally if anyone speaks up. Suddenly thoughts of police and prison just flood him and he can’t help the feeling of dread that drives him to reach out with his hands.

But he might wake up Ben.

He carefully rests one hand on his back.

He was an hour away from his interview with the local police before all of this. Callum wonders if its worth going back to it with… even with Ben’s encouragement.

 _‘How do I play a bangin’ cop when I’m dating the robber…’_ even if it was a robber with a past. And a family of, well not a family per se, just a crook for a father.

Suddenly the whole situation becomes a jumble of noise in his head and he just closes his eyes just to make sense of a coherent thought pattern instead of the constant who-why-what-where-what now his brain seems to be circling on.

“You’re doing that thing again”

“Sorry. What…” shit, Bens awake. He looks up sleepily.

“You’re doing that thing again where you’re….I don’t know worrying and stuff” His voice is so tired and raspy. Callum tries to deny it with his face and Ben gives him a much more awake much more stern look.

“I’m fine. Just… sorry about before I heard normally for a second and then I didn’t and… suddenly it” Ben ventures an explanation.

Ben leans up, hands on both sides of Callum, he tries to avoid eye contact.

“I’m fine. I’m here. Stop yer’ Worryin’ and lets’ just…”

“Ben…” Callum tries. But before anything could be discussed, again. Ben’s settling on him, on his lap comfortably. That sly smirk of his back, making sleepy the new sexy and reaches down with his hands on both sides of Callum’s face.

“I’m fine alright...” Ben whispers into Callum’s face as he kisses him. And kisses him harder, before reaching for the sides of his t-shirt to pull it off, exposing his upper body to the cool chill of the room.

Callum knows this is a classic Ben move in avoiding the actual conversation. But he can’t help himself.

Its been almost a week without knowing he’d have this man to hold and love again. At some point he knew he might go back but towards the end….

That’s when Callum surprised himself with a tiny blur in his eyes.

Ben stops the descent of his lips to look at Callum with a sort of pained expression he’d never seen before.

“I thought I’d never see you again” Callum says as his own voice just betrays some emotion unwillingly. He always found it hard to be anything but sincere.

He’s not sure Ben heard all of it. But Ben kisses him. Making him close his eyes before following a tiny drop of liquid leave Ben’s left eye and fall on Callum’s face.

Ben comes to slowly. Callum’s arm heavy across his stomach. He realizes he’s safely wrapped in Callum all the way, their feet poking out from under the duvet.

He sighs, closing his eyes. The dull ache of a good cry still lingering in his chest.

He’s aware of his terrible meltdown in the kitchen. He’s sure he’s red in embarrassment even as he’s in bed with Callum just as much as he would be with a crowd of a few hundred. He hates having these emotional meltdowns with people, without people in public or by himself. It always makes him feel so weak and stupid. He finds himself subconsciously thumbing his ring.

He’s dealt with deafness before, but complete silence is a new and alarming sensation. Its only momentary but its…. slowly adding up. Seconds at first, minutes now. He consciously listens again now trying to be fully aware of everything around him.

Its almost tea by the looks of the light coming into the room. He can feel the warmth of Callum’s breath on his neck and…. Pretty much nothing else. Well not unless you count the sound of his heart and some... functions? Of his body??

He closes his eyes almost willing his non-functioning hearing aid to work perfectly again. Not realizing he scrunched himself into a ball further. Callum’s hands gently pat at his back.

 _‘Shit’_ he tells himself. Turns to see Callum slightly awake but fully alert to anything Ben’s face is willing to let out. It’s almost endearing slightly alarming and almost annoying how this man has now become Encyclopedia Ben vol. 2. (Jay is vol. 1).

“False alarm… you close your eyes again. Just a stretch. Relax Dr. Halfway” he says turning and patting Callum on his chest. Ben hopes that wasn’t too loud. He focuses on Callum’s lips as they start to move. But he stops so Ben instinctively moves back up to his eyes. Callum’s scrunched up ‘concern eyes’ are just damned annoying. He adjusts in his arms and relaxes his own face and takes his hand under the covers to find his hip.

There was a lot of their language that was non-verbal to begin with. He just knows this is what he’s supposed to do to help Callum believe him. His hand touches his now pant-less hip and he couldn’t help remembering carefully (but sexily) how he managed to undress Callum waist-down. Callum rolls his eyes as Bens hand slips carelessly down his hip and… Callum quickly reaches under the covers himself to sternly grab Bens hand in his and hold it somewhere safely above the covers.

Ben can’t help but huff and look at Callum in a way that says, _‘you’re really no fun at all’_.

But Callum hugs him tight and he can’t help but relax into his arms.

“How about somethin’ to eat since you’re off the menu” Ben pokes.

Callum nods with a smirk. He starts to say something and Ben trying to keep up with his lips for words he really still...

“Ok slower so I know whether it’s KFC or Chips you’re mouthin’ out” Ben painfully explains.

 _“Let me get it”_ Callum mouth reaching for his phone.

“How about some Chinese!” he says.

They order off an app with the menu clearly there with no need for explanation. Since the delivery will be here in 15 mins, Ben tries to get off the bed with a quick peck on Callum’s cheek.

And just as he stops. His heart is warmed by the fact they are here, safe…together again.

He kisses him on the lips a little deeper.

“Wow… I need to whiz so bad” Ben almost says to no one in particular as he looks for his briefs on the floor when, suddenly… he’s being held in place by a large hug. Feels good. Feels so damn good. So _undeservingly_ good.

And suddenly he’s reminded why Callum, who’s bruised face he sees as he turns to watch him from the remaining light in the room, those icy blue eyes focused entirely on him. Is bruised.

His hand reaches for his face and Callum rests in his palm. He realizes Callum’s face changes as he probably realizes Ben’s face was probably showing off the sudden pain and sadness that filled him. He tries to go back to the smile or the smirk. His eyes probably never change because Callum gets closer to him.

“What…” _is it_. Callum seems to mouth. The first syllable sort of heard to him.

Ben looks away trying to find the right thing to say. He turns and smiles back and just shrugs it off. That’s probably the best he could manage as he’s not sure what garbage would leave his mouth. He slinks off Callum’s reach and finds his undies at the foot of the bed and pulls on Callum’s hoodie on to head to the bathroom.

“Be back in a sec. Wallets downstairs near the Telly if you need some change” Ben tells Callum, who’s seated in a very odd way on the bed, his legs poking out from under the covers. His face a mix of confusion and… annoyance. He wants to ask him what its about but its most probably about him and he rather not be popping off just as they are recovering from something like this.

He’s standing at the door now open, and he’s forced to lean against it.

Whatever his face is. Callum with his always immaculate hair a little disheveled, eyes tired but still icy blue…in his bed is a sight that inspires music in his head.

Callum adjusts under the new scrutiny. A playful ‘what’ from his lips. Did Callum just tighten his tummy?

“Oi did you just flex your non-existing abs at me” Ben couldn’t help but smirk. Callum pulls the duvet up a little further to his chest as he mouths ‘fuck you’ and looks away probably looking for his grey joggers.

Ben can’t help walking back to the bed and climb on top of him for a few more kisses before he’s pushed off the bed and beaten to the bathroom by Callum.

They both shower and are downstairs waiting for the takeaway food that should’ve been here about half an hour ago by the time it shows up. Ben hands Callum the forgotten beer he promised as Callum painstakingly unpacks the individual dishes on the coffee table in front of the tv.

Ben can’t help being excited for some Pork and egg fried rice.

He looks up to Callum who’d stopped looking for a coaster just to stare at him.

“What...” Ben asks confused by his sudden smile at him. Callum taps at the side of his glasses. Ben shrugs not sure what to say. The glasses seem to have an odd fascination for Callum.

“Keep your pants on and eat now” Ben shares as he digs into the smaller boxes looking for the shrimp dish he wanted. Callum kisses him on his forehead and hugs him again.

“Can we please stop being touchy-feely sods. I’ve had enough for a day, thank you” Ben says hoping he doesn’t let on how much he likes this level of affection.

Fried rice gone and the last wonton now soggy, Callum can’t help but think this is going to take a nice solid mile run to deal with tomorrow as he burps politely into his hand. Or when the doctor says he can. Maybe he can give a small brisk walk a try tomorrow. The doctor wasn’t very specific about exercise. He looks over at ben now deeply engrossed in a tweeny show they found on the Beeb with subtitles.

It kinda shocked him at first when Ben just grabbed the remote and fixed on it before. It felt great to realize thanks to the subtitles they could still enjoy some Telly or a movie as a part of their daily lives. Of course, this could be temporary and things will be back to normal soon for Ben.

All kinds of normal including his nefarious activities. Ben snapped him back to reality with his chopsticks.

“Oi…stop drifting off. I won’t be able to explain where or who this girl kills next” Ben chided playfully. “I’m not a big fan of these concerned looks you keep giving me” Ben almost said to a now empty box that held wontons.

He touches Bens shoulder and tells him “Get used to it idiot” with the biggest smile he could muster. Ben smirks and turns back to the Telly. The shows absolute garbage about some murderous beauty queen with an eating disorder, but it’s kinda interesting with its nitwit adults.

Six episodes later of mindless tv shows Bens curled up on him again. Callum can’t help but wonder whether Ben’s actually paying attention or reeling with his own thoughts about everything… including losing his brother. Callum takes this moment to rub his head again and Ben relaxes into him more. Turns out he was right as Bens face turns and he’s sleepy again after the solid meal. He tries to stir Ben into moving upstairs again. There was a slight protest. But at the thought of being comfortable in just boxers and themselves, Ben could hardly refuse.

Barely awake and still over the covers, Ben watches him loose his pants intently, then get into bed and under the covers. Callum could do with another bout of sleep. Ben doesn’t waste any time in entangling their feet and hands. Callum is still watching him with his hand under his head.

“You were the one in hospital…how come I was the one that got taken care of” Ben whispers.

Callum can’t help but laugh. He wants to say so many things as he opens his mouth but…. Current situation prevailing, he wonders how they will effectively communicate.

He frees his hand from under his head and just allows a small laugh to be felt.

He kisses Bens head and whispers in his ear “You did. When you found me.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really not into dragging out his pain or his avoidence of the issue, but I thought the boys could both recover with some comfortable silence and time together being themselves with a bit of insight into their heads. Tell me all about how I might have gotten their voices wrong or right please. I'm mortified i didn't do justice to their voices or lingo.


End file.
